No title really, just thoughts.

This has nothing to do with writing, but a little to do with reading.

I know how to read a recipe and follow it. And sometimes, it turns out AMAZING. I made a real honest to goodness cheesecake and it was so rich and creamy and delicious, that you can only stand to eat one slice. But lucky for me, that means I get to have it for many days in a row.

I love to cook. I HATE to wash the dishes afterwards. However, there have been times while I'm standing at the kitchen sink, staring out the window and looking at the Great Salt Lake in the distance, and enjoying the fantastic colors God painted the sky with that I just think of how wonderful this life experience is.

I can do anything I want to (within reason, morally, ethically, emotionally, and financially) I live in a free country with so many rights and freedoms and opportunities. I truly feel blessed.

I love reading about different things. Some in the type of genre I attempt to write in, but I have always loved reading. The first book I remember reading is "The Best Nest" I memorized it and quoted it to my mom as she sat on the couch next to me. She'd have to point out places where I'd skipped entire paragraphs, but that joy of sitting on the couch with my mom and having her attention while I read was priceless (any time a mother can give to one child in a family of seven children is precious) Makes me wanna go pull one of my kids into my lap and read with them.

Its always nice to be able to escape into another world when I read a book, but I am so thankful to be able to return to my world and my life, because it is definitely a great one.

When I write, I write.

When I get the urge to write, that is all I want to do. Eating is essential, but I bring my plate to my laptop and take bites in between my flow of 'brilliant' ideas.

Housework takes a back seat, and I get irritated that my dear husband prefers a clean house over the thousands of words I crank out during the day. Silly man. :) Good thing he's such a wonderful man, and can clean up after himself, and even the kids so I don't have to do it all. (don't you wish you were as blessed as I am?)

One thing I've noticed about myself is that I don't like interruptions. When my kids need something or have to talk to me or just want to make sure I'm still alive and not some zombie banging away at the keyboard, I get annoyed at them. How terrible is that? I love my children dearly, and cherish the fact that I am a Stay at Home Mom, but some days I can't wait until they grow up so they can go to school, (all day) and let me have some focus time on the computer.

Then I freak out that I thought that terrible thing and go snuggle them while they are still young enough to want me to. (plus, my plan is to go back to teaching once my youngest is in school)

I discovered that the best way to avoid those problems is to either stay up into the wee hours of the morning while they are asleep, and end up cranky all day, or go visit my parents in my hometown, and write there. DH isn't there to be irritated that the housework isn't done, and I can get the flow out with minimal interruptions since the kiddos can play with Grandma or Grandpa.

I've also put off writing at times when I've had something else I should focus on since I know if I did even a little, I'd get so into it, I couldn't quit. (It's seriously like an addiction.)

I must praise my DH for his support in this obsession of mine. He even tells me he likes my writing. Bless him for cleaning up for me when I just can't drag myself away from all the verbs, nouns, adjectives, em-dashes, parenthesis, and so on. Thanks lover.

I'm really trying to get more time to write, or I should say, take more time to write instead of all the other things I spend my time on. I've been trying to do it during nap time for my youngest, first thing in the morning, before dinner, after dinner, just keeping the computer on the table all day long and getting to it every second I can. But then I discover something else to distract me and I don't do my writing.

So the other night, I went to bed around 11 and couldn't sleep. Deciding to come downstairs and work on my writing, instead of tossing and turning in bed and accomplishing absolutely nothing, I worked and worked and worked on revising my story.

Things were going great. Finally at about 3 am, I started to feel tired, so I went to bed. I was so proud of how much I got done in those 3 hours after midnight. So much more than all the work I'd tried to do for more than a week before. Thinking I should do it again the next night, I almost did, but felt too tired. I went to bed, and was awakened by my 6 year old at 3 am. He was puking his guts out. (so glad he made it to the bathroom first though.)

I must say I prefer staying up until 3 am over being awakened at 3 am. Vomiting aside, staying up is easier on my mind and body than waking up.

The funny thing about it was listening to the comments my son made about how he hates to go bluhh (our code word for vomit, puke, or throwing up)

Well, enough with the distractions. I'm going to go back to my editing. Gave myself a deadline, and by golly, I'm gonna make it.

I'm in one of those slumps again, where I just can't bring myself to write what I should. Instead, while I'm on the computer, I check my blog, check other writer's blogs, check email, watch hulu, or check Facebook. I really think I need to ground myself from the internet during my writing time. That is what I will do today. Once I'm done with this, I'll shut down the internet and write. Then I'll be so proud of getting something done with my computer time. It will be writing time.

The thing I'm struggling with now is that I've received some awesome feedback from some critique group readers that has really opened my eyes to what is wrong with my writing. I'm not a bad writer, but I'm not a great writer, YET! I will get there through hard work, and lots of revisions. I kind of want to take a vacation from my real life, and just go somewhere with no distractions to be able to focus on my work. I know that will not happen, and if I ever want to get my book ready to be published, I've sure got to do the work, around the other things that happen in my real life. I doubt any author out there is able to close themselves away from the real world to write. At least not for very long.

Gonna make a goal to get some real writing done every day. I WILL SUCCEED!

What I love about writing.

What is it about writing that I love the most? I don't know. Sometimes I think it is the sound of the keyboard as the words just flow. Sometimes it is the way I feel about how I expressed one particular thing in just the right way. Sometimes it's the way I go back over something I wrote, edit it, and make it so much better than the way it originally was. Sometimes it's just breaking away from my real life, and escaping into another world of my own creation.

Other times its reading blogs of agents, editors, and other writers and feeling validated about what I'm going through. And how about doing all the 'research' reading to see how another author tells the story.

It is having other people read what I've written and tell me what they like and dislike about it. (After I've put my pride in my pocket of course.)

It's also about doing something that is hard, and painful, and awful, and terrible, and amazing over and over again, and getting different results depending on what kind of mood I'm in. I mean, how many people can go to work and come out with something different at the end of each day. Either the birth of something wonderful, or the death and destruction of something awful, and feeling good about just having done it.

Its the thought that I'm doing something that lots of people really wish they could do, and knowing that even though its hard, I'm still making the attempt.

So AMAZING, yet exhausting at the same time.

Love it!

It has been awhile since I've written on here, but I have been thinking of writing most every day. I've attended my writers group, on a Thursday, where we learned about self publishing. (not something I'm really interested in, but it was very informative) It was hosted at a small independent bookstore here in Tooele "the Purple Cow" I bought Fablehaven 5, showed it to my husband that night, told him I wanted to read it, but I should work on my own writing, and he said, "You should do some more research reading to see how it's done." So I did. Finished it in a day and a half.

Then on Saturday, I went to a book signing by an author. I bought her book that day, and read it within 8 hours. (more than 300 pages too) Loved it (called the Hourglass Door, by Lisa Mangum.) Some day I'm going to write a book that just can't be put down.

I've written 16 pages in the last week. Much better than the weeks before that. I had been doing some editing, and reading work by others in my critique group. The story is often in my mind, but real life does interfere with my imaginary ones.

On a personal note, I lost my dear mother-in-law the first of this month. Attending her funeral the day before mothers day was heart breaking, but still such a spiritual and refreshing experience to know how much she was loved and how much she influenced and touched the lives of those who knew her. I hope I can live my life to be respected and loved as much as she was.

Tell those you love how much you love them. Take time in your life for the most important things. Go give someone a hug right now. :)

Can't say enough about the critique group

I finished my book and thought it was fabulous. Having my family and some friends read it gave me some feedback, but it was mostly its nice, I like it, sign me a book when it's published. But none of the agents wanted anything to do with it. Then I joined a critique group and have gotten such good advice on how to improve it that I can't believe I thought it was good when I first finished it. I believe it was a good idea to let it sit and simmer for awhile and then come at it again with a new look and new advice.

I'm getting excited to see how to make it improve with each time I read through it.